"Shockumentary": The Blog: Part One. The Rules of the Game

Here it is folks, the beginning of the night of truth. Allow me to set the stage, if you will, by describing the situation and how I plan to record the nights events.

First off, my attire. I have put together what I consider to be a bar outfit suitable for the Lower East Side/Hipster set. The look is as follows:

-A new pair of American Eagle Bootcut jeans, complete with the trendy deep blue "faded, worn out" look. A belt to keep it around my waist...guess I lost a little weight.

-Regular white socks.

-A new pair of black Nike sneakers that don't quite look like sneakers.

-A tasteful pair of boxers with a plain, unoffensive pattern. In case things go REALLY well.

-A brand new Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof t-shirt, sized small to show off my pecs, also black color. Hopefully it will be a talking point during the night. (Note: one of my previous conversations with a single girl in the Lower East Side area regarded Reservoir Dogs.)

-A new American Eagle blue and black striped white collar shirt, used as an overshirt. Untucked. Might possibly be partially buttoned later in the evening.

-Deodorant, obvis.

-Loreal Extreme Hold hair gel applied liberally...otherwise my hair looks like a big bushy mess.

My plan is to travel down to the Village and eat at a new place called the Corner Bistro. Supposedly they have the best cheeseburger in the city, and I aim to put that to the test. Don't worry, faithful readers...I am bringing along a small container of mint Tic Tacs for afterward. Then I plan on seeing the comedy movie "The Ten". The film has gotten good reviews, and it is written/directed from some members of the comedy troupe The State, who also did Wet Hot American Summer. After the movie gets out it should be approximately 11:20 pm, which allows me to skip over to hip East Village bar "B-Side" to begin the night. I plan on spending at least an hour there, and hopefully within that time I will find someone(s) to talk to. In the event the place is horrible, my tentative backup plan is to travel to the Lower East Side stop, where a plethora of hip bars reside.

Now, the rules: I plan on keeping score, as it were, for how the night goes. I will tally the numbers using a pen and post-it, and position them in the following categories:

Number of Flirtatious Glances

Number of Conversations had

Number of Conversations Aborted (this includes attempts at conversation...I expect this will be the highest category)

Number of Disapproving Looks

Number of Beers Bought (this should not exceed more than 4)

Number of Successful Encounters (really, this is just wishful thinking)

After the night is over, I may be too tired to post the results immediately, but I plan on having them up by Sunday night. The numbers will be posted along with my description of how the night went. I put myself out there in the name of scientific study...here's hoping science doesn't fail me.

*Puts on shirt and hair gel* Time to get geared up...